Dear Blogosphere, Let’s Take it Easy, Shall We?

11 Dec

“The perfect is the enemy of the good.”– Voltaire

“Lower your expectations and don’t blow your load too early.  Also have fun.”    –Bryant ‘Big Country’ Reeves

* * * * *

As I packed up my Mighty Max backpack on the very last day of 1st Grade, Ms. Slanowe had one final recommendation:

“You guys should keep journaling over the summer!  If anyone would like a brand new composition journal to take home, I’ll leave them by the door.”

“Aw, hell fuckin yeah,” I chirped.  I loved journaling about as much as I loved making paper mache howler monkeys.  (Howler monkeys?  Yep, howler monkeys.)

So I grabbed a journal and got to work the very next day.

NOTE:  What follows are actual, verbatim transcriptions of lil Petey’s journal entries

June 26, 1995.

Dear Journal,

Today is the first day for you and me.  Every day, I am going to write in you and also I hope that I will draw a picture on you.  There are a lot of pages so PLEASE don’t be angry if I use some for scrap paper.  We better be friendly because summer is long and you have a lot of pages!!!!!!!!!!!  I promise to write in you every day.

Love, PETEY

So meta, lil Petey

 

* * * * *

June 27, 1995.

Dear Journal,

Today I saw POWER RANGERS THE MOVIE.  I would give it three stars.  Seriously, it was pretty good!!!!!!!!  The Amazon Babe was very “attractive”. White Ranger is my favorite.  I will be honest that no one wants to be the blue ranger.  Here is my favorite scene.

Love, PETEY

PS ALSO dad took me to the arcade and I won a pink bear.  I’m better at claw machines than most children my age.

Self-Explanatory

* * * * *

June 28, 1995

Dear Journal,

I am very tired so I am going to bed.  I did buy a pog slammer here is a picture of a pog.

Love, PETEY

"A Lion King Pog," clearly illustrated

* * * * *

July 1, 1995

Dear Journal,

I AM SORRY

😦

I want to cry every time I see it.  Lofty expectations, a fast start, a solid follow-up, a distinct fall-off in quality caused by the pressures of (an eight-year-old) life, a hiatus, a futile attempt to save face…

and 95 blank pages.

As I sit here scanning copies of my now sixteen-year-old journal an hour before our self-imposed deadline (Cakes is a stickler!), I feel many of those same initial emotions.  The weight of a new project can daunt.

But this time, I’m lowering expectations.  The purpose of this blog:  to post more than 4 times.  Wish me luck.

December 8, 2010

Dear Blogosphere,

Today is the first day for you and me.  Once a week, I am going to drop mediocre-plus writing in you and also I hope that I will drop some amusing-plus youtube videos on you.  I got grown person shit to do so I will take you lightly and you will deal. Let’s just have a good time!!!!!!!!!!!  Can you handle that?  LET’S DO IT.

Moyle’s a bitch,

Pete the Peasant

P.S. FYI


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